15 Red Flags to Watch Out For When Seeking Truth and Honesty in a Relationship

Your gut instinct and intuition are internal mechanisms that keep you safe in the world, protecting you from harm’s way. Every day this invisible inner knowing bestows subtle feelings and messages guiding us on our journey through life.

We rely heavily on our primary five senses of sight, touch, smell, hearing and taste. However, gut instinct provides data to the brain and body, which is not always visible or tangible.

This sixth sense acts as an internal radar picking up discreet shifts and changes in energy, connection, body language and the environment from people around us and our external world. It emits both positive and negative response signals and sometimes warning alarm bells.

‘There can be no trust or healing where there is no truthfulness.’

In romantic relationships, attachment style is the connection bond we develop with a partner, which feels either secure, anxious or avoidant. This attachment system becomes activated when feelings of insecurity about a partner arise, also prompting this strong visceral gut instinct response.

When we feel betrayed or believe that a partner is being dishonest somehow, this gut instinct response is our first internal red flag warning about the situation.

Then there are red flag behaviours from your partner, which will help to validate your sense that all is not safe, secure and trustworthy in the relationship.

Here are fifteen obvious ‘red flag’ behaviours to watch out for when seeking out your basic fundamental need for truth, openness and honesty from a partner;

  • Defensiveness
  • Deflecting
  • Evasive
  • Minimising
  • Projecting
  • Gaslighting
  • Avoidance
  • Threatening
  • Stonewalling
  • Lying
  • Deception
  • Dismissive
  • Generalising
  • Backtracking
  • Finally, a disregard for your feelings and emotional well-being.

These red flag behaviours from a partner are fight and flight responses to avoid and evade wholehearted truthfulness, honesty and factual information. They serve to protect from the consequences or outcome of actions that compromise the integrity of a relationship.

They are evident in communication, language and body language, intentionally creating distance and a disconnect between the couple – leading to further betrayal and attachment trauma.

There can be no trust or healing where there is no truthfulness.

Do not let yourself disconnect from your true self simply because your partner is disconnecting from you. Stay strong and grounded, and seek validation and connection from others you can trust. Your gut instinct is reminding you that your core values and needs are yours to fight for and reclaim.

Orlagh Reid Psychotherapy

Orlagh Reid

Orlagh Reid is an IACP accredited Counsellor & Psychotherapist, Addiction Counsellor, Gottman Couples Therapist and Fertility Counsellor in private practice based in Co. Kildare, Ireland and worldwide online via DOXY. She specialises in addiction, recovery, well-being and clinical sexology. To find out more or to book an online consultation visit www.orlaghreid.ie

Orlagh Reid Psychotherapy MIACP Therapy Ireland

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