Sex and intimacy are an important part of sexual well-being and relationship health. Men can be affected by a range of conditions which may impact their sexual health and overall mental and emotional health which is why talking about erectile dysfunction concerns early is important.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a sexual dysfunction defined as the inability to maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. Men may experience mild to moderate erectile dysfunction or complete erectile dysfunction and other problems associated with sexual performance. The prevalence of ED increases with age and may be symptomatic of other medical conditions such as diabetes, heart conditions and chronic stress. Research suggests prevalence may be as high as 15% in some countries. Seeking professional help early is important. If you are worried about erectile dysfunction, the first step is to talk to your GP or a medical professional to rule out any potential health conditions. The second step may be to talk to a professional sex therapist who can help you come to terms with the condition positively.
There is a range of reasons a male may experience ED. These can include lifestyle, physical health, psychosexual problems, hormonal imbalance, health conditions, stress, prostate conditions, surgery, childhood trauma and relationship problems. Excessive use of pornography and drug abuse has also been linked to mild to moderate ED. Some men may experience ED causing difficulty climaxing with a partner, but they may have no problem climaxing alone through masturbating.
“In my experience as a Sex and Relationship Psychotherapist working with men, women and couples with sexual issues there is always a combination of factors causing sexual problems which at first appear unclear. Through the process of therapy these factors become more evident, allowing the client to make conscious and informed decisions about the next steps to take.”
Experiencing ED, particularly over a longer period, can be distressing and traumatic affecting a man’s sense of masculinity, self-esteem and overall confidence. For some men, the fear and anxiety associated with sexual performance can prevent them from dating altogether, ruling out the potential for secure and loving healthy relationships.
Erectile dysfunction can be the result of treatment and surgery following a diagnosis of prostate cancer. It can be beneficial for men and couples who are affected by a prostate cancer diagnosis to talk to an experienced therapist to help them adjust to the condition together. Experiencing ED does not have to mean the end of a couple’s sex life. It often means, however, that they need to redefine their association of sex as being focused on penetration and more towards a focus on experiencing pleasure, touch, foreplay, sensuality, arousal and a deeper intimate connection together.
Sexual problems can feel difficult and embarrassing to talk about, but that can change over time the more you talk through problems with a therapist. It is important not to let fear of talking about any condition prevent you from getting the right type of help.
The good news is that there are a number of health professionals who have expertise and training specifically in sexual problems, called Sex Therapists, Psychosexual Therapists or Sex & Relationship Psychotherapists.
Talking to a therapist can help in a number of ways to deal with ED. They are professionally trained to help you talk more openly about sexual problems by making you feel comfortable and supported. Therapists guide clients through difficult conversations and work towards helping them come to terms with the condition. Sex therapy for ED may include completing an assessment questionnaire to understand the nature of the problem and exploring the history and potential causes of the condition. Once the client has gained some insight into the reasons behind their condition, therapy focuses on intervention and management focused.
Take the time to find the right therapist for you and work through your problem to rule out potential causes and identify factors. Therapeutically your therapist may focus on various topics such as lifestyle, self-care, sex and intimacy, emotional health and relationship happiness.
It may take a number of sessions to properly assess the various factors and history of the sexual problem before any intervention is discussed. I always invite partners to engage in therapy for sexual problems to discuss the relationship and help the couple come together to support each other in a positive way. Dealing with sexual problems often means addressing the impact on both people in the relationship and working out how they can adjust together. I find many couples I work with never learned to talk openly about sex or intimacy together. When one partner opens up in a relationship, it makes it more acceptable for both partners to talk more about their intimate relationship leading to an enhanced connection together.
An important part of therapy for ED is helping men of all ages to regain their confidence, self-esteem and masculinity and start to feel good about themselves again.
