There are lots of ways you can survive and thrive this festive season without alcohol. Planning makes it a whole lot easier. Not only are you making the most out of your time, but you’re doing it hangover-free, free from guilt and regret and feeling in total control.
If you are in the early days of establishing a lifestyle without alcohol, also called alcohol freedom or free from alcohol, or you have begun alcohol recovery from an alcohol use disorder then planning the next few weeks is your key to success during the festive season.
While it’s only early December, it’s never too early to start planning those crucial three and four weeks during the Christmas period when the urges to drink, the prompts to use alcohol, and the opportunity to have a quick tonic are always just around the corner. You might be surprised to read that for those in alcohol recovery this year, the conversation about managing and preparing for a strong recovery during Christmas started back in October.
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Planning helps you to visualise your way through the next few weeks while preparing how to get through it with confidence and ease. Knowing what you need to do each day rather than wondering how to navigate each day. When you want to feel in control rather than out of control you need to focus on what you can control. Take a read of how to get Through Christmas Day Sober, Free from Alcohol and Feeling Strong. Leave nothing to chance this Christmas and stay 100% focused on your recovery and in control.
If you’ve already started to cut out alcohol this year and the sober confidence is comfortably in place, navigating December may feel slightly easier. Leaning into the strategies, tools and activities you already have in place will benefit you over the coming weeks. With that said, never wing these festive periods and milestone events. It is better to plan, plan and plan some more.
For anyone who’s in that first year of alcohol use disorder recovery and those who have an unhealthy on-off relationship with alcohol or binge-type drinking, extra care, planning and preparation are necessary and strongly encouraged.
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Making Your Plan
Take half an hour right now or today and start to plan your month of December, write down on a list all the social events, family events, work parties, dinners and events to attend. Use your diary if this is also useful. Now write a list of all the healthy habits you have or would like to include in the month, including activities such as exercise, fun, relaxation and any outdoor activities you enjoy.
Get yourself a monthly wall calendar take a look at the whole month of December and start planning your month ahead. With a red pen and markers begin marking in social events and periods that you would typically consume alcohol if it’s at home or out socially. These are your red flag events. These are family events, work parties, club parties, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day etc etc.
Don’t forget to consider the following types of drinking habits. The social drink, the wind-down drink, the quiet drink, the sneaky drink, the reward drink, the poor me drink, the destress drink, the cure drink. Whatever reason you drink, write that RED FLAG habit in the calendar as a prompt to make different plans during that time. Your habits and routines are so predictable. The only person you need to be honest with is yourself.
Humans are creatures of habit, and how we consume alcohol tends to be very predictable. Your calendar will now reflect that pattern leaving nothing to chance.
It’s important to believe that you have autonomy and choice in every decision and being in alcohol recovery means that your decision-making skills will need some sharpening. There will not be one single event that you must attend. You always have a choice to politely and respectfully refuse invites and requests to attend social events particularly if your health depends on it.
For social drinkers, it can and will feel easier not to drink alcohol by removing yourself from social events and environments which prompt you to drink. Make your life as simple as possible during these early days of establishing sobriety and alcohol freedom. You won’t feel like you are missing out by creating new, interesting and exciting experiences which replace your old social drinking habits. This takes time to adapt to but in the longer term, it is worth it. Not only are you discovering new things about yourself, but you’re also discovering new friends and social circles. Find your activities which you thoroughly enjoy.
Now mark in your calendar all the ways that you can positively support your alcohol freedom and recovery plans. Create a plan in your month which incorporates time for exercise, rest, activities, family time, relaxation, outdoor activities and group support if in active alcohol recovery. Mark in your days off and days you are at work. By now your calendar should begin to feel fuller. You can also include many of the effective habits that support alcohol sobriety such as mindfulness, reading, exercises, good quality sleep, counselling appointments and support and any other stress management strategies you have.
If you are feeling at a total loss of what to do why not give back to the community and volunteer for a local food bank or homeless charity? Sign up for ninety AA meetings in ninety days or register at you’re local gym and do a class a day. There are many inventive ways you can begin to manage stress and tension while discovering life without alcohol.
Possibly one of the harder habits to break is drinking, home alone on your own. Simply because you’ve no one to be accountable to while and when drinking. Free reign. This type of common drinking particularly among women is insidious and ultimately detrimental to your mental, physical and emotional health. It is a slow and slippery path. Drinking alone takes you away slowly over time not only yourself but from your family, friends, social events, joy and connection with the outside world. Your world becomes very small, very quickly as you strive to manage an unmanageable alcohol problem, alone.
In the words of the AA Twelve Step Programme, ‘You alone can do it but you can not do it alone.’ Seek out the support of an experienced addiction counsellor to get you out of that alcohol use disorder rut. Find out what local alcohol self-help recovery groups are available to you online and in your area in a recent article, your Guide to Addiction Recovery Self-help Support Groups in Ireland.
Embracing Your Introvert and Extrovert
For those who are social and more extroverted in nature, the challenge with giving up alcohol will be to embrace your introvertedness by spending more time with yourself and socialising differently. Seek out different types of activities and events which fill your social battery but do not associate in any way with the alcohol pub club scene. Believe me, there are many outlets! There are many of these types of opportunities and outlets when you begin looking around. You might even find that attending a self-help alcohol recovery group will become part of a new social circle and the beginning of new friendships. Why not explore online sober communities or meet-ups in your area?
For those of you who are more introverted, the challenge is to relinquish your introverted self and put yourself out there a little more. Practice assertiveness and find ways to step out of your comfort zone, gently connect with others, seek out connection with family and friends, engage in activities outside of the home, or take quiet time alone away from home which will shake up your daily routine.
You have to change what you do and how you do it. You can not change nothing and expect a different response. Alcohol freedom and recovery require active change, new experiences and shifting how you associate with alcohol and your relationship with yourself. Yes, it will feel uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as feeling stuck in a downward cycle.
Thinking is not doing. Doing is doing. By planning your month ahead and actively getting organised and following through on plans you are learning how to change. Read more useful articles on my health blog.
