The Ruby Glow Range- Vaginismus Friendly FemTech Made by Women

Last year I was researching femtech and intimate well-being products which women with vaginismus symptoms and penetration pain could consider. It turns out there are many different types of products on the market when you know what you are looking for. In this Vaginismus series blog, I would like to introduce you to the Ruby Glow range by Tabitha Rayne. I call these Vaginismus friendly products, made by women and for women.

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I discovered the Ruby Glow Dusk on amazon.co.uk and this product range of grinders really stood out to me. In my typical fashion, I did some further research behind the Ruby Glow and to my delight, made contact with the woman behind the product, Tabitha Rayne!

It turns out that Tabitha is well-connected within the Vaginismus community and has hosted talks for The Vaginismus Network. She is a woman of many talents indeed. More than that, however, she has worked hard to develop inclusive sexual well-being products and toys for women who prefer vulva pleasure and non-penetrative stimulation.

“I often feel like when you have a condition like vaginismus or endometriosis, you can, (through no fault of your own) begin to focus on what you can’t do sexually, rather than what you can. When in fact, you can actually have all the orgasms and pleasure your heart desires!” 

You can read more about her story here [Tabitha Rayne Talks Pleasure, Erotica and Designing Inclusive Femtech]
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Flowers of Scotland Podcast – A Vaginismus Awareness Podcast

Listen to Tabitha on the Vaginismus Awareness Podcast, Flowers of Scotland Episode 6!

Tabitha’s story is so inspiring as one of the first to develop grinders for women, she called it seated pleasure. Pleasure designed by women for women. For vulvas, not vaginas! I love it. Recently she talked on episode 6 of the Flowers of Scotland Podcast about her products and why she created them for women like her who quite simply did not enjoy internal touch or penetration.

It’s a great podcast and her attitude is so refreshing and self-accepting. Tabitha is a great spokesperson for women with vaginismus and creating an inclusive product for women is clearly a growing passion. She is now ten years in the FemTech business!

Vaginismus and pleasure – You deserve it!

Tabitha tells me… When I first started out, I would give talks at vaginismus evenings, particularly with the Vaginismus Network and I was literally the only person talking about pleasure. It was as if it was a diagnosis of vaginismus meant you weren’t a sexual being anymore. I found that totally heartbreaking. I really wanted the women in those groups to know that sexy fun and pleasure are so available to them!

And to my sheer joy, I was at another talk this year in 2024 and I was one of FIVE speakers talking about pleasure, masturbation, sex toys and fun! It was an emotional moment to see how far we’ve come. I LOVED it.

Tabitha share your advice for women with vaginismus and those who avoid painful uncomfortable sex and penetration.

I often feel like when you have a condition like vaginismus or endometriosis, you can, (through no fault of your own) begin to focus on what you can’t do sexually, rather than what you can. When in fact, you can actually have all the orgasms and pleasure your heart desires! 

I think shifting the focus away from the daunting task of getting something in, to getting pleasure out, really helps. There are now many products like the O-nut which can make penetration more shallow but I honestly think you have to take it right back to your own pleasure first. Forget about everything and focus on your glorious, glorious clitoris!

I know that so many people live with conditions that limit their access to pleasuring their own bodies and that made me feel that Ruby Glow was a necessary creation and I had a duty to pursue it. 

My thoughts on the Ruby Glow range

It is a product which will appeal to many women who do not like internal sensation or who are working towards introducing arousal and sensation at any level. Those women with vaginismus who experience fear, anxiety and avoidance-type behaviours or detach from their sexual self may be working towards introducing self-touch, vulva massage and vulva stimulation. This product will appeal to those more anxious women. It is also suitable for those who may have vulvar conditions, fear of sexual pain and strong psychological responses to penetration. As you can see, aesthetically it is a soft inviting aubergine colour, easy on the eyes, and silky silicon soft to the touch gently warming through body heat.

The Ruby Glow Dusk and Ruby Glow Rosa range is a non-penetrative pleasure toy. It can complement any dilator training you may be working towards or already practising. This is a great product for women who are menopausal or experiencing vulvar pain symptoms but wish to begin to explore self-pleasure, masturbation or pelvic stimulation and relaxation. It has a good RRP unlike some very expensive brands on offer and is an overall good quality product.

In my clinical experience, women with vaginismus symptoms can have avoidant type tendencies which perpetuate ongoing problems and the sense of overwhelm. Such as avoiding practising their pelvic physio, avoiding uncomfortable experiences, or sexology interventions. As this is a ride-on, it is easier to use throughout the day while working, reading or watching TV.

Interesting in online therapy with me to discuss these issues more? Book an appointment today HERE!

You might think that those types of suggestions are ridiculous but if you are working towards resolving and better managing vaginismus, like many doing pelvic physio exercises, introducing arousal or stimulation is often part of the home care and self-care plan.

About the Ruby Glow Dusk

Ruby Glow Dusk is perfectly moulded to suit your pleasure needs. Its saddle-style design, massages and stimulates the whole vulva and vagina area.

​It can be used through underwear or is skin-safe for full-body contact.

• Contoured for precision intimate contact
• Dual independent motors
• 10 powerful functions
• Clitoral and vaginal stimulation
• Velvet soft body-safe silicone
• Splash-Proof
• Non-penetrative

Two independently vibrating pads are held in place by your pubic bone and operated by controls to the front. You can rock and grind against them or relax and let Ruby bring pleasure to you.

Orgasm Statistics

In my recent article with Suzanne Belton about female pleasure, she talks about how pleasure can come from vibration, grinding and pressure on the pubic bone and the whole vulva region, not just the clitoris. So Hell yes, this product makes perfect sense!

Orgasm statistics and research increasingly find that women orgasm less from penetration than clitoral stimulation. One 2018 study found that just 18.4% of women orgasm from vaginal sex alone (without clitoral stimulation) while another found that 81% of women don’t orgasm from penetration without clitoral stimulation. Another interesting statistic shows that 30% of women rarely or never orgasm during vaginal intercourse!

When you consider these statistics, new awareness and understanding of female sexual pleasure AND then tie in actually meeting the needs of female femtech shoppers – it is no wonder that this innovative and inclusive product produced by Tabitha Rayne would go on to be an award-winning FemTech brand.

Horray for Tabitha and vaginismus-friendly FemTech!

Follow Tabitha Rayne!

Website: www.tabitharayne.com

Instagram: @TabithaRayne

The Ruby Glow: www.therubyglow.com

Podcasts: www.tabitharayne.com/events

Erotica Books: Book list here or buy on Kindle!

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Orlagh Reid Psychotherapy

Orlagh Reid

Orlagh Reid is an IACP accredited Counsellor & Psychotherapist, Addiction Counsellor, Gottman Couples Therapist and Fertility Counsellor in private practice based in Co. Kildare, Ireland and worldwide online via DOXY. She specialises in addiction, recovery, well-being and clinical sexology. To find out more or to book an online consultation visit www.orlaghreid.ie

Orlagh Reid Psychotherapy MIACP Therapy Ireland

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