Wake up sober, rested and refreshed this St Patrick’s weekend. No self-loathing, no hangovers, no more crawling through the weekend and week ahead in first gear. Getting through Paddy’s weekend alcohol-free and why you need to tell yourself that life is worth living and you get to choose how you want to live.
It’s St Patrick’s Day bank holiday weekend in Ireland and around the world, time to celebrate being Irish of course! Just another one of the hundreds of reasons or excuses we tell ourselves to drink. Sure aren’t we Irish, isn’t that what we do? It’s like a scratched outdated record in Irish society. Guess what, we have so much to celebrate living in this beautiful safe island of Ireland. It’s time to sing and dance to your own tune.
“I can see the benefits of moderation, elimination, sobriety and alcohol freedom. That veil was lifted a long time ago. Forget alcohol, life is also a drug. Waking up with a spring in your step and plans that make you feel good and connected – a purposeful life.”
That’s the cultural narrative drilled into our unconscious and subconscious against our will growing up in Ireland and still to this day. Even myself as a young teenager and young woman of parents who thankfully never touched a drop, I learned this subliminal message from friends and society growing up. Women especially have been subjected to wine culture, wine-o-clock and mammy lunches with sneaky glasses of wine. Sure don’t we ‘deserve’ it. Women, wine and loneliness is a slippery slope as life gets so much more hectice. We are told we can have it all, and deserve it all but it comes at a price.
Alcohol use disorder is a silent epidemic in Ireland, affecting over 600,000 men and women, not to mention their families and responsible for an estimated 3 million premature deaths globally every year. Sobering statistics don’t you think? Horray for zero-alcohol drinks – otherwise called refreshments. A positive change for Irish people and another large-scale win for the big alcohol industry.
As Jennifer Mugan, my good friend and Health & Nutrition Coach says in her recent episode on the Over the Influence Podcast talking about growing up in the eighties and nineties Ireland, alcohol ‘was the background noise we hear growing up in Ireland, it was always there‘. She talks about her own alcohol freedom journey and what’s next, ‘I don’t know where I am going with this (alcohol freedom) but I’m never going back there.‘
Good news. You get to frigging well decide what to do with your life. Did you know that? Do you realise you were probably too young to consciously and maturely choose to have alcohol in your life?
If alcohol is bringing you down and holding you back – break up with alcohol. You choose what’s right for you now, today at this phase in your life. The answer is simple, at least take a break for a few months. You might even realise it stopping you from reaching your full potential. If you need help, talk to your GP or an addiction counsellor and get help stopping. Get in touch with me directly if you want to get started.
You get to decide and choose this weekend what you want to do for St Patrick’s weekend and alcohol doesn’t need to have any part in your decision-making process. It might be a break from your norm, but it’s a habit worth breaking. For those of you in the process of eliminating, going alcohol-free or early in your alcohol sobriety make this weekend a positive one. Yes, you can do it! Plan your weekend, find activities that bring you joy, love and look after your body. Nourish it. Trust me, there are a hundred activities you can do without alcohol.
Check out @sobersocial.ie on Instagram for a St Patrick’s Day hill walk.
Time to start talking yourself into not drinking – a pattern of reversing and renewing your thinking patterns. Wake up sober every day feeling rested and refreshed – your brain and body will thank you. You might even begin to like yourself again instead of hiding under the covers of self-loathing. I’ve been there – it’s positively awful. Soul destroying I might say.
A client recently said after her first 100 days without alcohol, “life is just so much easier to do with alcohol. I wish I knew this before now.”
In the words of Bob Dillon, ‘the times they are a changing‘ for so many women in Ireland. We are starting to realise the stark reality of alcohol on health, wellbeing and mental health, not to mention hormones. Thank god says I!I’ve been that woman, waiting all week for the Friday wine(d)-down, any excuse to celebrate, click that bottle open and drift gently into the warm soft empty embrace of alcohol only to spend another week clawing myself and my brain back from the effects of alcohol on my body. Alcohol promises you everything and gives you nothing back worth accepting or even tolerating and yet we accept it so freely as our norm. A group one carcinogen that causes cancer amongst other things disguised in plain sight as a sparkly posh bottle or premium label.
Giving up anything is hard, giving up alcohol which is an addictive substance is even harder. The process of cutting down, cutting out, and choosing alcohol freedom or alcohol sobriety takes time but it is a journey worth striving for. You might even find that life without alcohol is far better than you expected, as Catherine Gray describes ‘the unexpected joy of being sober‘. You get your autonomy back, your early mornings, regain your health and likely even your sanity back. Don’t forget those long mornings and days torturing yourself with regret, remorse and self-loathing. You might regain more than you could ever imagine.
You might like to read…[Ten great books about giving up alcohol and positive sobriety]
I am not the alcohol police – on the contrary, alcohol policed so much of what I did in my twenties and thirties and I never even realised it. I was that woman hauling myself through the week without even realising it was alcohol holding me down, twisting me into someone I never wanted to be. I thought it was the perfect antidote to my anxious mind. Like so many women, we use alcohol to help us destress, switch off, and tune out – not realising it causes prolonged stress in every way imaginable. Now, I understand that women like me with anxiety, stress, and overwhelm, and life stress use alcohol to self-medicate and self-sooth. Did you know you can buy 100 bottles of wine but only one box of paracetamol in Ireland at any one time? Crazy right? Right!
Alcohol use disorder can be so pervasive and invisible. I am also not in alcohol recovery – I practice periods of prolonged elimination and moderation. I have studied, learned and educated myself about the reality of alcohol and the big alcohol industry. I have every sober literature book there is to read – Catherine Gray is my idol. Thankfully I have matured, my life has changed and I am a mother now. Dare I be so honest to say, that I’m too tired to drink, parenting is exhausting.
I have discovered the joy of living, well-being, early morning sunrise walks, the beauty and gifts the world has to offer and the power of positive mental health. I invest my time and energy in these things that make drinking alcohol regularly not worth the immense cost to my well-being. Giving up alcohol for the large majority of women does not need to be so scarily black or white. When you choose your well-being, diet and lifestyle, it’s simple logic. Well-being in, alcohol out. For others, the path to sobriety can be through progressive moderation with support and intention.
Now as an Addiction Counsellor and Recovery Coach, I can see the benefits of moderation, elimination, sobriety and alcohol freedom. That veil was lifted a long time ago. Forget alcohol, life is also a drug. Waking up with a spring in your step and plans that make you feel good and connected – a purposeful life. That’s what keeps me ticking now, I might still be tired as a parent and woman in this hectic world, but I’m tired from living, not for alcohol.
So what will you do this bank holiday weekend without alcohol? How are you going to spend your one and precious life? Will you be present, feeling, connecting, living, exhilarating, making memories? How can you have joy, laughter and fun? What can you do to nourish your body and soul? How can you enjoy pleasure and feel purpose? Get thinking and have your plan before the weekend hits.
This weekend I will be living. Waking up early, enjoy my nurturing walks in the forest, taking a sea swim, hugging my husband, drinking too much coffee, making memories with my children, getting into bed early with a good book or having a netflix binge. There might even be chocolate, pizza and popcorn. One thing I know for sure – I will be hangover-free, refreshed and like myself come Tuesday morning ready to fight again for another week.
